Author: rustadmitch

Life Coaching

Coaching vs. Therapy: Which One Do You Actually Need?

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The Life Coaching vs Therapy Question Answered Simply

I get asked this constantly, so let me answer it once and clearly.

Therapy is for healing

It’s the right choice when you’re dealing with clinical depression, anxiety disorders, trauma, grief, addiction, or any serious mental health condition that requires diagnosis and treatment. A good therapist is invaluable for this work, and I will always recommend it for people who need it. Therapy often looks backward — at your history, your patterns, how the past is affecting the present.

Life coaching is for building

It’s the right choice when you’re fundamentally healthy but feel stuck, unclear, or like you’re not living up to your potential. Coaching is present and future-focused — where are you now, where do you want to be, and what’s in the way. There’s no diagnosis, no treatment plan, no pathology assumed. Just a person who wants more from their life, and someone in their corner to help them get there.

The two are complementary, not competing. I have clients who work with both a therapist and a coach simultaneously, because they’re doing different things. Therapy is healing the wound. Coaching is running the race.

Who needs a coach?

If you’ve ever thought any of the following, coaching might be worth exploring:

  • I know what I should do, I’m just not doing it
  • I feel like I’m capable of more than this
  • I’m successful on paper but something still feels off
  • I don’t know what I want anymore
  • I keep making the same patterns in relationships, work, money

That’s the territory. That’s where coaching works.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Life Coaching

Empower Yourself: What That Word Actually Means

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Empower Yourself: What That Word Actually Means

Empowerment is one of those words that gets used so often it starts to feel hollow. So let me say what I actually mean by it.

To be empowered is to believe — genuinely, not just intellectually — that you have agency over your life. That your choices matter. That the way things are is not necessarily the way things have to be.

It sounds simple. It isn’t.

Most of us carry beliefs, absorbed in childhood and reinforced by experience, that tell us the opposite. That we’re not the kind of person things work out for. That the good stuff happens to other people. That we’ve already had our shot and missed it. That wanting more is selfish or unrealistic.

These beliefs feel like facts. They are not facts. They are old stories, and they can be changed.

What empowerment actually looks like in practice

It looks like catching yourself in a victim narrative — “this always happens to me” — and asking instead: what’s my part in this, and what can I do differently?

It looks like taking an honest look at your life and deciding what you actually want, instead of what you’ve settled for.

It looks like making one small choice today that’s aligned with who you want to be, rather than who you’ve been.

It looks like deciding — maybe for the first time — that you are worth the effort.

Empowerment isn’t a feeling you wait for. It’s a posture you practice. Every day, in small ways, until it becomes the way you move through the world.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Spirit

Travel as Medicine: Why Getting Out of Your Environment Changes Everything

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Travel as Medicine: Why Getting Out of Your Environment Changes Everything

There’s a reason people come back from trips different. Not just rested — actually different. Lighter. Clearer. More themselves.

It’s not a coincidence.

When you’re in your normal environment, you are surrounded by thousands of subtle cues that reinforce your existing identity, habits, and patterns. The same commute. The same people. The same routines. The same version of yourself. Your environment is constantly prompting you to be who you’ve always been.

Travel removes those cues. For a few days or weeks, the usual triggers aren’t there — and without them, something opens up. You notice things differently. You make decisions you wouldn’t normally make. You talk to people you’d never encounter at home. You remember parts of yourself that got buried under routine.

This is why even a weekend somewhere unfamiliar can reset something that months of normal life couldn’t touch.

You don’t need to go far

A different neighborhood. A town a few hours away. A night alone in a hotel. The principle isn’t about geography — it’s about interrupting the pattern. Giving yourself the experience of not being who you usually are for long enough that you can see yourself from the outside.

The questions worth asking on any trip: What do I notice when the noise of my regular life isn’t there? What do I want that I don’t give myself at home? Who am I when nobody here knows who I’m supposed to be?

Those aren’t vacation questions. They’re life questions. Travel just makes the space to ask them.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Mind

Anger: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

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Anger: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Nobody talks about anger honestly. We either treat it as something to suppress and manage, or we let it run completely unchecked. Both approaches miss what anger is actually telling us.

Anger is information. It’s a signal that something — a boundary, a value, a need — has been violated. In that sense, it’s useful. It’s your system flagging something that matters.

The good

Anger, channeled, can be fuel. It can be the thing that finally gets you to say what you’ve needed to say, set the boundary you’ve been avoiding, make the change you’ve been postponing. Some of the most important things people do come from a place of productive anger — enough is enough energy that finally moves in the right direction.

The bad

Chronic anger is exhausting and corrosive. It keeps the nervous system in a constant stress response, damages relationships, and — crucially — often punishes the person carrying it far more than anyone else. Rage directed outward rarely lands where we intend it. Mostly it lands on the people closest to us.

The ugly

Anger turned inward. This is what depression often is, at its core — anger that has nowhere to go and turns back on itself. Self-criticism, shame, hopelessness. If you notice you’re rarely angry at external things but constantly angry at yourself, that’s worth paying attention to.

The question with anger is never “how do I get rid of it” — it’s “what is it telling me, and what am I going to do with that information?”

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Spirit

What Is Reiki — and Is It Worth Trying?

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What Is Reiki and Is It Worth Trying?

If you’ve heard of Reiki but aren’t sure what it actually is, you’re not alone. It tends to get lumped in with things people either fully believe in or roll their eyes at — and I think both responses miss the point.

Here’s the simple version: Reiki is a Japanese energy healing practice in which a practitioner places their hands lightly on or just above the body, with the intention of promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and supporting the body’s natural healing processes. It’s gentle, non-invasive, and has no side effects.

Does it work?

Honestly — it depends on what you mean by “work.”

There’s solid evidence that Reiki reduces stress and promotes relaxation. There’s evidence it helps with pain perception and anxiety. Whether it does so through some mechanism of energy flow or simply through the profound effect of intentional, caring human touch — I’m not sure it matters. The result is real.

What I do know from working with people is this: anything that gets you out of your head and into your body, that creates genuine stillness in an overstimulated life, that gives you an hour of quiet and presence — that has value. That’s worth trying.

We are so oriented toward the analytical, the proven, the measurable. Sometimes the most healing things are the ones that don’t fit neatly into that framework.

If you’re curious, try one session with a reputable practitioner. Notice how you feel. That’s all the data you need.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Mind

Is Forgiveness the Ticket to Happiness?

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Is Forgiveness the Ticket to Happiness?

Short answer: yes. Longer answer: it’s complicated — but not in the way you might think.

The most common misconception about forgiveness is that it’s something you do for the other person. That forgiving someone means what they did was okay. That it lets them off the hook.

It doesn’t. Forgiveness isn’t about them at all.

Forgiveness is about you — specifically, about whether you want to keep carrying the weight of what happened. Because that’s what resentment is: weight. It’s heavy, it’s constant, and it burns energy you could be using for something that actually matters to you.

There’s a line I’ve always loved: Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. They’ve moved on. You’re the one still carrying it.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you about forgiveness

You don’t have to feel it first. You don’t have to wait until you stop being angry. You don’t have to like the person, reconcile with them, or have any contact with them at all.

Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. You decide — consciously, deliberately — that you are no longer going to let what happened define your present. That the story of what they did to you is not going to be the most important story you’re telling about your life.

That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

It usually needs to be made more than once. And that’s fine. Make it as many times as you need to.

What — or who — are you still carrying? Is it worth it?

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Mind

Feeling Stuck in Life? Try This One-Day Experiment

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Feeling Stuck in Life? Try This One-Day Experiment

If you’re feeling stuck right now, I want you to try something. Just one day. No commitment beyond that.

For one day, pretend there are no limits.

Not forever. Not as a life plan. Just for today — put reality on a shelf. Suspend the “but I can’t because…” and the “yeah but what about…” and the very reasonable-sounding objections your brain has been collecting for years.

For one day, ask yourself: If I could have the life I actually wanted, what would it look like?

Write it down. In as much detail as you can. Where are you? What are you doing? How do you feel when you wake up? What’s different? Who’s there? What’s not there anymore?

Don’t edit. Don’t be practical. Don’t worry about whether it’s realistic. The exercise isn’t about whether it’s possible — it’s about getting honest about what you actually want. Most of us have been so focused on what’s achievable that we’ve completely lost track of what we actually desire.

Here’s what usually happens

People write things down and then look at what they wrote and feel surprised. Sometimes the things they want are much simpler than they expected. Sometimes they’re bigger. Sometimes they’re things they haven’t let themselves want in years.

That’s the experiment. What did it show you?

Stuck isn’t a life sentence. It’s a signal. It means something in you is ready to move — it’s just waiting for you to get out of the way.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Body

What Is Holistic Nutrition — and Why Does It Matter?

rustadmitch
What Is Holistic Nutrition — and Why Does It Matter?

The word “holistic” gets overused to the point of meaninglessness. But when it comes to nutrition, the concept is actually important and worth understanding.

Holistic nutrition starts from a simple premise: you are not just what you eat. You are what you eat, absorb, and eliminate — and all of that is influenced by stress, sleep, relationships, movement, and the general condition of your nervous system.

Two people can eat identical diets and have completely different health outcomes based on these factors. This is why calorie counting as a singular strategy so often fails — it treats the body like a math problem when it’s actually a living system with interdependencies.

A few principles worth knowing

Food is information

Every thing you eat sends signals to your body — to your hormones, your gut bacteria, your immune system, your brain chemistry. The quality of that information matters as much as the quantity.

Your gut is your second brain

There is more serotonin produced in the gut than in the brain. The state of your digestive system has a direct impact on your mood, energy, cognition, and immune function. This is not alternative medicine — it’s basic physiology.

Stress blocks absorption

You can eat a perfect diet and absorb very little of it if you’re eating under chronic stress, eating too fast, or eating while distracted. The digestive system requires a state of calm to function well. Eating at your desk while answering emails is not a neutral act.

Nourishing yourself is an act of self-respect. Not a diet. Not a performance. A practice.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Mind

Are You Ready to Face Your Fears?

rustadmitch
Are You Ready to Face Your Fears?

Fear is not the enemy. Fear is information.

The problem isn’t that we feel fear. The problem is that most of us treat every fear as a stop sign when really most of them are just speed bumps — our nervous system doing its job, checking whether this new thing is actually dangerous.

Spoiler: most of the time it isn’t.

The fears that actually run our lives aren’t the dramatic ones. They’re quieter. Fear of rejection. Fear of being seen. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of wanting something and not getting it, so we decide not to want it at all.

A question worth sitting with

What would you do if you knew nobody would judge you? Not “what would you do if there were no consequences” — that’s a different question. Just: what would you do if nobody’s opinion were a factor?

Most people have an immediate, honest answer to that question. And most people have spent years not doing it.

Fear of judgment might be the single most life-limiting force there is. More than money. More than circumstance. More than talent. Because it operates invisibly, disguised as logic, practicality, realism — all the very sensible reasons why now isn’t the right time.

Here’s what I’ve found, working with hundreds of people: the thing you’re most afraid of is almost never as dangerous as the life you’d live if you never faced it.

The fear doesn’t go away when you face it. But it gets smaller. And you get bigger.

What’s waiting on the other side of yours?

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!

Body

Fitness After 40: What Actually Works

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Fit Over 40: It's Not What You Think

The conversation about fitness after 40 is usually framed around loss — slower metabolism, harder recovery, diminishing results. And while some of that is physiologically true, it completely misses what actually becomes available after 40.

People over 40 are done performing. There’s a tremendous freedom that comes with caring less about what you look like at the gym and more about how you feel. The vanity motivation that drives so much exercise culture starts to fade — and what replaces it is often much more sustainable.

What actually works

Strength training

More than ever, maintaining muscle mass after 40 is one of the most important things you can do for long-term health. Not to look like a bodybuilder. To stay strong, preserve bone density, and maintain metabolic function. Two or three sessions a week is enough.

Sleep

This becomes non-negotiable. Recovery is slower, and sleep is where recovery happens. Everything else suffers when sleep does — energy, mood, focus, decision-making, willpower.

Less cardio, better cardio

Long, moderate cardio sessions become less effective and harder on the joints. Shorter, more intense sessions — mixed with genuine rest — tend to work better.

Consistency over everything

Three moderate workouts a week, sustained over years, beats any intense program you’ll quit in six weeks.

The body at 40 is not a lesser version of the body at 25. It’s different. Work with it.

Now available: ‘Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living’. Right here. Where you are. Listen to part one — as a gift to get fully started — or get all 5 sessions (and bonus session and workbook) at GOYOW. Enjoy!