Here’s something worth sitting with: every time you seek someone else’s approval before you feel okay about yourself, you’re essentially saying “You are more important than I am.”
That’s a heavy thing to carry around. And most of us carry it constantly.
We dress a certain way. We soften our opinions. We post things online and quietly wait to see how many people respond — and how fast. We preoccupy enormous amounts of mental energy with questions like “What will they think?” and “Do they like me?”
And the cost? Creativity. Peace of mind. The version of yourself you actually want to be.
Approval-seeking isn’t weakness. It’s deeply human. But when it becomes the operating system running your life, it creates a kind of low-grade chronic stress that never really goes away — because there’s always someone whose opinion you haven’t secured yet.
The real question is: whose approval do you actually need?
Nobody’s opinion of you determines your worth. Not your boss. Not your ex. Not the person who didn’t text back. Not the internet. Your value is not up for a vote.
The moment you genuinely internalize that — not just intellectually, but in your bones — something shifts. The noise gets quieter. The choices get clearer. The life gets bigger.
Try this: for one day, notice every time you do something because of what someone else might think. Don’t judge it. Just notice. The awareness alone is the beginning of something powerful, and profound. It’s the start of your freedom from approval.
Mitch Rustad is a Certified Life Coach and writer. His audio series Get Out of Your Own Way — A System for Living is available at mitchrustad.com.
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