Ask the Coach: I Feel Stuck — Where Do I Even Start?

Q: “I’ve felt stuck for a while now — in my job, in my life, in my head. I know something needs to change but I don’t even know where to begin. Every time I try to figure it out I just get more overwhelmed. Help.”

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Welcome to being human. Seriously — you just described roughly half the people I talk to.

Here’s what I want you to hear first: feeling stuck is not a character flaw. It’s not laziness. It’s not weakness. It’s what happens when the life you’re living has stopped matching the person you’re becoming. That gap — between where you are and where you sense you could be — is actually a healthy signal. It means something in you is ready to move.

The problem is we try to think our way out of stuck. We make lists. We research. We compare ourselves to other people. We wait for the perfect moment. And all of that activity keeps us very busy while keeping us exactly where we are.

Here’s where I’d suggest starting

Stop trying to figure out the whole thing. You don’t need to see the whole staircase — you just need the next step. One honest question: what’s one small thing that feels more like me? Not a plan. Not a goal. Just one small thing.

Put reality on a shelf for a minute. Most of what keeps us stuck is a story we’re telling ourselves about what’s possible, what we deserve, or what other people will think. None of that is reality. It’s a story. And stories can change.

Write it down. Not a journal, not a diary — just a notebook. Write what you actually want. Not what you think you should want. What you WANT. Uncensored, unfiltered, no judgment. You’ll be surprised what comes out.

Stuck is a starting point, not a destination. The fact that you’re asking the question means you’re already moving.

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